So, here is how my weekend went.
Friday: I did what I'm doing tonight, I stayed up all night, and went to the gym first thing. But Friday was different. I went to starbucks right after the gym, and I got a vanilla latte with 8 shots of esspresso. That's a ten dollar coffee right there if you are keeping track.
Ok, we need to talk about the gym first. I knew this was going to be a crazy weekend because my morning started off pretty weird.
While doing my normal weight routine this weird Jeffrey Dahmer lookin dude starts staring right at me. Just staring. At first I think maybe there is something on my face, or my ass is hanging out of my pants, or something. No. So then I start to think, ok maybe he just wants my machine. No. I cut my routine short, get up and walk away to another machine so this freaky guy, who might I add is already skinny, can have MY machine. But no, that isnt enough. He doesn't go to my machine, he comes and sits down on the machine that is right next to the one I'm on. I look over and smile. Nothing. This guy just stares at me. Ok, time to get out of here. So I head over to the free weights section, and from there on out nothing really major happened. I made damn well sure that the rest of the time I spent at the gym was in a well lit area with a lot of people around me. Maybe I'm overeacting. Maybe I'm being OCD, and I just happenend to look at this guy right when his eyes where glancing across the room and landed on me. Maybe this guy and 17 bodies in his mom's basement. Who knows, who cares?
So after my 8 shots of esspresso I went out and about till four or so. Then Q called. So I promptly went over to his house and picked him up. What followed was a night of humor and where many new catch phrases were coined.
We decided that we were bored with it being just the two of us, so we went and picked up Chelsea, and headed to Steak and Shake. At Steak and Shake we discovered that Q is really funny.I mean laugh out loud and stare at funny. While there I decided that I would damage some poor kid for life. So I made my Freddy Kruger face and looked through the glass divder between the booths and scared some poor kid. Yeah, ok, so we are bored at this point and we decided, " Hey lets go out into the woods and stare at some muck in the water."
So we headed to this place, in the middle of suberbia, that looked like it was in the middle of bumble fuck no where. While out in the woods, Q decided to jump and play in the water. OK, this is a good time to say, I don't do drugs, and I hate people who do. So if that is where yourmind is, get it somewhere else. Q is just that retarded that he wanted to play in the water. Actually I think his orginal plan was to move some rocks in the creek and get the water flowing better. I really don't know why he thought that but he did.
Q was playing so cutely and coyly in the water and playing with the rocks, quietly, calmly..... then out of no where..... A SNAKE!!!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!! Q begins to freak out, which then leads to ten minutes of me and Chelsea joking around with him and scareing him repeatedly. After thirty or so minutes of playing out in the woods we decided to see a movie.
Well, by the time we got there all the GOOD movies had already started, so we decided to go and see this kiddy movie called Surf's up!
We quickly came to discover although this was geared towards a childish audience, this movie was quite an adult film.
No, I don't mean like that, you sick turd.
This was not a paticularly vulgur film. Nor did it have any bad references to the Penguin race.
However what it did have was Tank Evans:
This is Tank. Tank is a very popular penguin. Tank wins lots of competitions. Tank likes to polish his trophies, as you can see in the picture above. When Tank polishes his awards, he touches himself. Wait what?
Yep, that's right, the innuendo is right there. That he uses his awards to release tension. Wow, how far have we gone as a society when even the kiddy movies could be on HBO after dark?
And then, there is Chicken Joe:
Chicken Joe is a peice of Poultry that surfs. Chicken Joe is higher throughout this whole movie, than Keith Richards was in the 70's.
At the end of the movie, Chicken Joe wins the big surf competition. That's right ladies and gents, the stoner wins!!!!
What does that say about us as humans? We are putting out movies for children, where the stoner, the drugie, wins. What are we teaching kids? That it's ok if you want to be a stoned piece of chicken, you will still win big in the end. What has our world come too?
After this ridiculus cinematic adventure, we decided to go back to Aiden's house.
On a whim, we decided that we were bored and that we wanted to swim. So, we promptly jumped into the pool.
While in the pool Q was making faces, that would of scared the orcs of middle earth. He looked directly at Chelsea and made one of those faces, which scared her, and made her make multiple jokes about him. After finshing her ranting of jokes, Q retorted with " ughhhhh, I'm just so relaxed around you, I just.......
you make me want to make fucked up faces. "
And, the rest of my weekend was just a blur.
