(Currently Listening: Nine Inch Nails- Lights In The Sky)
I, for a very long time, have been a believer in telling people exactly what you feel, regardless of the consequences. With the recent events in my life, that notion has been re-enforced ten-fold. Because you never really know how much longer you are going to have with that person. Over the past few months there have been many different people who have come in and out of my life. Some of them good for me, and others not so much. Some have made a difference in the way I do things, others haven't even been able to scratch the surface. People who I thought were my best friends have disappeared,and people I once hated with every ounce of my soul, I know find myself in love with, again. My brain is weird. I'm siting in a waiting room in a hospital, anxious to find out if someone I love dearly is going to be OK, and for the first time in a long time, I feel fear.
Several months ago, I was hurt by someone I loved. It crushed me, and I really had no choice but to block off my heart and let it go cold. So for these past few months I've chosen to be somewhat emotionless. I've focused 90% of my time on work, and the other 10% on the rest of my work. Now, don't confuse that with my job. My work, and my job are two completely different things. My work is what brings me more joy than anything else in my life. My job is a source of stress and anguish.
Anyway, back to what I was saying. Recently, I've had no choice but to let my guard down around a few different people, and it's been... well it's been good to be happy. It's been good to be able to be myself again. I've started writing again, and I've got god knows how many shoots set up for this summer. It's been nice to be able to be myself around others.
The point of the strange rambling is that I want everyone who is reading this to have an open heart, an open mind, and I want everyone to know that know matter how bad things get, you can always make it through the pain. You can always make it through those bad days. My heart and mind are both now open, and I'm happy for the first time in a long time.
I know I usually make funny posts about ridiculous things people buy, and politics, and other things of that nature, but I fell it's necessary to have a few post ever now and then that are about me. This is my blog after all.
